March 31st – Friday, we took a drive out to Steptoe Butte—Todd was impressed. We also took class. Mom called to say Linda had gone into labor at only 6 ½ months so Todd had better not go to Minneapolis. He stayed with us another day and we planned to drive him to Spokane on Sunday. We went to the Studio for dinner (the Hotel was closed because the owner, Nick Bowdie, had died) and then to the Ratskeller because Moscow Mining had closed. That town was full of surprises.
April 1st – Saturday, Mike and Todd drove to Lewiston while I cooked ribs and made potato salad. We saw the movie, “Saturday Night Fever” mostly just for something to do. The dancing was pretty good but the movie was for a younger generation.
April 2nd – Sunday, we drove Todd to Spokane. We were happy to see him go although it had been fun. Mike and I really hadn’t been alone for ten weeks. Todd was bumped off his first flight because it was overbooked, but luckily he got on one fifteen minutes later. We drove home and did laundry. Tom and Karen moved out—they found a cheaper place. Mike called Mom and heard that Linda had a boy. He is still in the incubator but doing fine.
April 3rd – Monday, we had class, meeting and rehearsal—back to normal. At the meeting we heard a three-week European tour is in the making for next year. I won’t sign my life away for the possibility of three weeks in Europe. We wrote Cincinnati and are awaiting word with crossed fingers. At the meeting we received sheets on which to write our tour gripes and also sheets asking our next year’s plans. We simply don’t know at this point. I bought a new needlepoint today but I may never do it. I also worked on my bedspread while we watched the Academy Awards.
April 4th – Tuesday, we had class and rehearsal until 5:00. This is a big day—my bedspread is totally finished. We also wrote our gripes—that took about three hours. Mike had three typewritten pages.
April 5th – Wednesday, we had class and rehearsal again. I remade George’s white pillow so it’s even now. I have been meaning to do that for over a year. We went to Steve and Patricia’s for dinner. Surprisingly we had a great time. Patricia is so much fun—Mike and I both love her.
April 6th – Thursday, we had a long day again of class, rehearsal and set-up. We picked up our tour pictures—pretty bad!
April 7th – Friday was our Fifth Anniversary—imagine that! It has been pretty wonderful. We had class today but no rehearsal. Nancy has left Jonny. The Moscow performance was spectacular—I have never had a better one. I talked to Norma a long time afterward about leaving. Forest Sears saw us and asked us to do the choreography for “The Boyfriend” this summer. We really couldn’t say “yes” or “no” because we don’t know if we’ll still be here. We have to hear from Cincinnati.
George had a party after the performance and it was lots of fun. I got good feelings from everyone. Carl and Jaye were there too. Jon came over after the party and we talked until 3:30 a.m. He’s doing all right. I think something is brewing between him and Leslie now that Nancy’s gone.
April 8th – Saturday, we got the letter from Cincinnati and I could hardly read it. They said they have no money to hire us. I wonder if it’s true. We had the meeting at noon to discuss gripes. It was all very civil; George was on his best behavior. Donna Bray came over after the meeting and we told her about our problems with George and our thoughts of leaving. She was a real friend and told us we have to do what’s best for us. She has been sick for six months—she thought she had a brain tumor. But, thank God, she’s almost back to normal. The rest of the afternoon, I worked on the new needlepoint. We had another party this time with the Guild and the Board. I mostly talked to Lou Edwards and Mary Jo. I felt like a celebrity. Mike and I were mentioned in the review in the paper for Watercolors. Moscow loves us.
April 9th – Sunday, we drove to Salmon. I can’t say I was happy to go. Esperanza is with us and she is fun to have along.
April 10th – Monday, we set up at 9:00 and had a lecture demo with Debussy. Mike wrote some letters to various ballet companies. We had a performance in the evening.
April 11th – Tuesday, the performance last night was one of my bests. The audience was so wonderful it was almost like being in Moscow again. I told JoAnn that it really helps having a lecture demo in the afternoon for high schoolers. It brings them back in the evening with family and friends. Kelly, Pam, Stephen and I left at 7:30 in the morning for Pocatello and the Kiwanis Luncheon. We weren’t in very good shape after celebrating last night at the bar. Leslie and Jon appeared to be hitting it off famously. The drive to Pocatello was nice—we talked about the different dance companies that Mike and I are writing. Stephen spoke at the luncheon and did a very good job. I didn’t have to say anything because no one asked me anything. I just sat there and smiled and looked like a ballerina. We had class with Esperanza in the afternoon. It was a good class but frustrating because the floor was like glass. During the evening we mailed the letters asking for audition information. We included resumes and brochures. I can’t wait to receive replies.
April 12th – Wednesday, we set up early in Pocatello and had class. For some reason we all felt exhausted. We had lunch at a Mexican restaurant and I teased Steven about getting fat. I was really not kidding—he’s shorter than Mike and weighs almost 15 pounds more. We slept until time for make-up. The performance went very well considering the chaos beforehand. We shared our dressing room with all kinds of people—taking showers and drying their hair. The gym lady couldn’t understand what we were complaining about since there was plenty of room. We moved to the dance studio about fifteen minutes before the performance—the folk dance teacher let her students out early. Mike left warm-up early because George was being his usual condescending self—I didn’t blame Mike at all. What I blamed him for was apologizing. The audience was big—about 700 including Kenneth and Robert from Salt Lake. Jan and Betsy were nervous but I was as calm as could be. We had a reception afterward in Stanrod Mansion. It was a real punch-and-cookie affair, but I talked to some real nice old ladies. The guys had helped the tech guys strike so they could all come—but they never showed. They’re the laziest group I’ve ever met.
April 13th – Thursday, it was a difficult day today because we were without a motel. We drove to Arco to do a performance, but we were staying in Twin Falls. We ate lunch when we arrived but then couldn’t set up until 2:30. Esperanza was supposed to teach class but no one wanted a class at 4:00. She is feeling useless and homesick. The performance went well even though there were a lot of very distracting children almost sitting on our floor. We were out-of-there in record time and on our way to Twin Falls.
April 14th – Friday, we were up and dressed for our luncheon with the Governor and on our way to Boise by 9:00. We arrived without a minute to space. I worked on my needlepoint on the way and it is coming along nicely. The luncheon food was good but I drank too much coffee. I was already feeling nervous about the performance that evening and especially about doing Pas de Trois for Jaye. The coffee definitely didn’t help.
After we ate, the Governor spoke. He and his wife, Lola, fell in love Ballet Folk when they went to Washington D.C. with us two years ago for the Bicentennial Celebration. Lola waved “hello” to me across the room and then came up and talked to us when everyone was leaving. The rest of the luncheon was dull. A lot of plaques were presented for donations and a lot of people were introduced including the dancers.
We rested for about an hour at the motel and then set-up and performed. The crowd was a sell-out. Karen and Lou Esposito were there and had only good things to say. Pas de Trois didn’t go well for me; but Jaye, in her flippant way, said I was cute and, “Imagine, Deanne, doing a classical ballet.” She type-casts so badly—that’s one of the reasons we’re leaving. We went down to Pizza Hut when it was over—I was drained. I can’t understand why I was so nervous. I forgot to say that I chatted with the Governor again before the show. We talked about nerves and he said he gets them too. I sure do like him—he’s so unpretentious.
April 15th – Saturday, we had a Beauty performance at the YWCA at 1:00. Everyone was wiped out and energy-less after the past three days and George criticized us for our lack of enthusiasm in warm-up. We shopped in the afternoon but I couldn’t find a thing to wear for the Moscow Hotel’s “Ballet Folk and Friends”. We all ate at Georgio’s, the place Chuck Bonney works—all the ribs you can eat for $4.95. I drank too many white Russians, beer and wine—so I fell asleep early watching TV. I could hardly keep my eyes open for 30 seconds to watch Ballet Folk on the news.
April 16th – Sunday and a day-off at last! We watched TV, read and I did needlepoint all day. It was a relief not to have to see everyone else. Mike and I saw “The Medussa Touch” at the ADA and had hot dogs and popcorn for dinner.
April 17th – Monday, we had a Beauty performance in Caldwell. Everything went smoothly. We shopped afterward and I found a dress—one that I had seen in the window on the way to the movie. We ate at the Sandpiper with Jon and Leslie and I realized it may be our last dinner there!
April 18th – Tuesday, we drove to Ontario, Idaho, early and stayed at our favorite motel—the Holiday. So much has happened there over the years that I started to get sentimental. We drove to Weiser where we performed that evening. I was hoping for a good audience but we only had a total of 32 people—almost our lowest attendance ever. At that point we were cheering that we only had five more evening performances to go.
April 19th – Wednesday, I didn’t dance well last night, so I should be glad it was a small audience. Actually it was just my energy-level that made me ashamed. We drove home and it was wonderful to be there. It was a nice day so we walked to Drug Fair to pick up the five pictures from the National Tour that they didn’t print the first time. We ran into Chuck Crossler and stopped in his photo studio to talk awhile. We ate at Hoseapple’s, a new place where Moscow Mining used to be.
April 20th - Thursday, we drove to Lapwaii and performed Watercolors and ELP without costumes or lights. We were supposed to do Rainmaker but there was no room on the stage. So Mike has probably danced his last Starbuck—we were all taking it much harder than he was. It was a fun performance and a fun day. I got a letter from Mom. Carl’s wife, Mary, is pregnant again—poor kid. Carl is ecstatic. Mike made the big move and called JoAnn to tell her we aren’t coming back. She was dumbfounded. Jaye came over about 11:30 p.m. to talk. I was really surprised to hear she was not planning to rehire George. Jaye was pretty convincing but we are still determined to leave. She did say we could always come back if we don’t find anything. The situation couldn’t be better.
April 21st – Friday, Betsy came over and we told her the news about George. She was very pleased. She is seriously considering staying now. I remade my orange pillow and it looks 100% better. We took Jaye’s two-hour class—what a killer, but it felt good. I made a pecan pie and we invited Steve and Patricia over to share it.
April 22nd – Saturday, we had a performance in Deer Park, Washington. Nothing much to say about it. We found out the choreographer’s conference in Seattle was cancelled. Too bad for Ballet Folk.
April 23rd – Sunday was a day off. I went to church and fixed fondue sauces and salad most of the afternoon. Pam came over for dinner. The food was great—well worth the work. We talked and watched TV the rest of the night.
April 24th – Monday, we had class today and what a bore. I fixed my size five jeans and it took me all afternoon. Pam came over and we talked about auditions. She thinks we should go to American Ballet Theatre—it was nice of her to say that. We packed again—maybe for our last tour.
April 25th – Tuesday, we drove to Sandpoint today and had an evening performance. The drive and the day were beautiful. We ate lunch at the Garden with Barb and Ben. I danced Pas de Trois because Barb’s knee was hurting. I’m afraid I wasn’t overjoyed about it, but the last shows are always the hardest to get psyched for. The conditions of the stage and backstage area were ridiculous. Six girls dressed in a room the size of a bathroom and the boy’s dressing room was half that. The stage was three floors deep with no wings and the front curtain was broken. In spite of all that, the performance and the audience were a success. There was a reception for us in the lobby and everyone treated us like kings and queens.
April 26th – Wednesday, we drove to Coeur d’Alene and had an evening performance. The weather was gorgeous again but we didn’t have much time to enjoy it. It was a good show but the audience was small and cold. There were a few kids sitting on the floor in front of us talking at the top of their lungs during the entire show. It was very distracting. Chris Dyer was there and she came back to the dressing room afterward. She was shocked to find out we are leaving, but she understands. She’s working in Portland as a waitress and taking ballet from Barbara Remington, a former Joffrey Ballet dancer. We got her address so we can keep in touch.
April 27th – Thursday, we performed our last Beauty today in Coeur d’Alene. The rest of the day was off but it poured rain. I finished Time Magazine (Gelsey Kirkland was on the cover with the caption “Ballet Soars”) and worked on needlepoint until dinner. The Company went out en masse to “The Cedars.” Mike and I split steak and tiger shrimp—it was delicious. Lenore showed a slide show of some of her photos after dinner. There were some gorgeous sunsets and some nice dance shots too.
April 28th – Friday, we drove to Omak and had our very last full performance. It was another concrete gym and I was in no mood to injure myself. George and I had a big blow-up over Pas de Trois because I really didn’t want to do it—and Barb wanted me to. I thought George should have handled the whole thing instead of making Barb do it. He shouted that I had begged him to let me do it, but now that it was Omak. . . He also said he had been upset with me for three months—God knows why. Anyway, I didn’t do it. The show went so fast—I really enjoyed myself. There was a reception afterward at the old Omak Hotel and we met some interesting people. Some even came over to the room afterward. We were exhausted and smashed when we finally got to bed about 2:00 a.m.
April 29th – Saturday, we drove home today. As of tomorrow, we’re officially unemployed. It is a great feeling. I cooked fondue for dinner and we did nothing for the rest of the night. We were very disappointed that there was nothing in the mail from any ballet companies. We were happy though that we got “Dance Magazine” and coincidentally the two spotlighted companies were Cleveland and Cincinnati.
April 30th – Sunday, I went to church and even had the wine for communion. I talked to father Rick afterward. He remembered me and wished us the best of luck when I told him we were leaving. A woman is coming over at 4:30 to interview us for Lenore’s Ballet Folk book. We’re going to the Biscuitroot with Pam and Kelly tonight. Just what I need—more food. Maybe I’ll order a salad.
May 1st to 4th – Monday was a busy day. We went to the unemployment bureau and got that all figured out, took class (George played piano) and set-up for Ballet Folk and Friends. I washed and curled my hair for the last show—it went really well. We told everyone that we’re leaving. The whole place was in tears. The little ballerinas—Leslie, Kathy, Gail, Mimi, Mindy, Virginia and Dawn were the most upset. I had a good talk with George—I mostly evaded the truth. I gave him all the reasons we were leaving that didn’t apply to him. It was a fun night—Mike refused to get sentimental and acted disgusted when Ben and I hugged each other and cried. We talked to Jaye the following day and left for Toledo with Betsy at about 3:30. The trip was long but uneventful. We dropped Betsy in Chicago on the 4th at about 8:00 a.m. and arrived in Toledo around 1:00. Mom was glad to see us but upset that we were early because she hadn’t washed her hair.
May 5th to 9th – We saw Grandma today and ate lunch out with Mom. We left for Cincinnati at about 4:30. It was great seeing Sue again. We went through the usual routine—looking at pictures and drinking beer. The next day we took Sue’s class and felt pretty good. Linda Calendrino, now Krume, and her husband, Mark, came over for dinner. It has been six years since I’ve seen them and they haven’t changed a bit. We had a good talk after dinner—just the girls while the boys watched TV and played pong. The following day we saw Cincinnati Ballet in Pas de Quatre and Peter and the Wolf. It was good but Peter doesn’t compare to Jaye’s Beauty. We went to Carla’s for dinner and bridge—we lost big time. Poor Bear has an awful cold. The next day was Sue’s birthday. We took James Truitte’s modern class and destroyed our legs for a week—just like in the good, old days. Sabline’s class followed and we loved it. The company was not there as they had another performance so we left a note that we wanted to talk to McLain the following day. We took Sue to LaRosa’s for dinner. The next day, May 9th, McLain watched a little of our class and talked to us afterward. He sounded promising although nothing for sure. He did tell us not to sign any contracts until we’ve talked to him. He even gave us his home phone number and told us to call collect. We left for Milwaukee and arrived at about 8:30. We slept in a Motel 6 and it felt like we were on tour again.
May 10th to 13th - We had our first, official audition. We thought we had done really well; but after class, Jean Paul Comelin just said, “Thank you for coming but we’re looking for different dancers.” Now what the hell did that mean? After we changed, Michael insisted we go talk to him and I was really glad we did. Otherwise we never would have known. Comelin said he was looking for principals—someone with a name and reputation. We felt much better after we heard that. We drove to Toledo arriving about 9:00. Mom was at bridge but we talked to Joe, Ann and Dad the rest of the evening. The next day we didn’t do much of anything, but we did make it to Cassandra’s for class. She’s not a bad little teacher—although I feel like everything she does, every combination, every correction, and everything she says, comes from someone else. But she has taken from some excellent teachers so I guess that’s all that matters. We took class again the next day with Cassandra and went shopping in the afternoon. We bought Mom a plant for Mother’s Day and Andra a needlepoint identical to mine. She is interested in learning how to do it and I said I would teach her. We went to the Willows with Mom for a late lunch. Mom and Dad went to a wedding in the evening so Ann, Mike and I saw “Goodbye Girl”. I didn’t expect to be so impressed. The next day was class again at Cassandra’s in the morning. I spent most of the rest of the day helping Ann with her needlepoint. Carla and Bear arrived before dinner as Bear is staying with Mom while Carla takes a 17-day course at Northern Kentucky University. She talked about divorce all night. Poor Jerry and Bear!
Written June 21st – A whole month later and we are still in the same predicament. Monday, May 22nd, we went to North Carolina. It was a very interesting and thoroughly enjoyable experience except for the nerves that always come with auditioning. The family we stayed with—Stan Ware, his wife Karen, and their daughter Ramona, were the perfect hosts. The whole atmosphere reminded us a lot of Ballet Folk—maybe too much. They are, after all, going to Alaska in a Greyhound bus. It does sound like a lot of fun and we were tempted. The first audition day went like most, so we were pleased we had another chance. Robert Lingren gave us the usual “definite maybe” which I always say is much better than a “no”. They will let us know by the end of June. We were back in Cincinnati by midnight on the 24th.
We painted and danced the rest of the week. We made several other calls—to Atlanta, Dallas, Baltimore, Houston, etc. We had Mike’s Dad find out about classes in Syracuse. We were almost finished with the house and we had to go back to Utica soon. We went to Rudy and Nancy’s on June 27th for dinner and to catch up. It was a very hot day and both Mike and I were feeling down about still not hearing from anyone else. Their baby, Courtland, is a doll and he thought the world of Mike. Mike kept running around the yard with him on his shoulder and he loved it. When we got home, there was a message for me to call Nancy Smith in San Antonio. Great news! They want us both!! I forgot to mention that after the first call, Mike told them he would love to work for them but that it had to be both of us. So I guess his strategy worked. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Thank God we have a job! We knew almost nothing about the Company but it didn’t seem to matter. It wasn’t as if we had a million other choices—or even one. Funny thing though—Duluth Ballet called the very next day. They had heard from George that we were looking for a job. We just told them, “Well, not any more.” We finished up the house on June 30th—well all but the windows. We left them for Dad.
May 14th to May 16th – It was Mother’s Day. We went to church, ate lunch, gave Mom her plant and split. We were off to Pittsburgh for an audition on Monday morning. We stayed with Ev and Edith Stetson and their gorgeous son, Paul—Mike’s Uncle, Aunt and Cousin. They served us a huge meal of turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, broccoli and cake. We’re going to be porky for Patrick Franz. We took a little sightseeing tour of Pittsburgh and retired early. On Monday, we both felt we didn’t do well at the audition so we were pleased to hear Patrick wanted us to come back again Tuesday. We went to the unemployment bureau and watched rehearsal until about 4:00. We were tired and sore—the class was a killer. Edith outdid herself with a great steak dinner and then we killed them at bridge. Neither of us slept well that night. On Tuesday, we did much better at the barre but the center was even worse than Monday. Mike and I were in despair and were sure Patrick wasn’t interested in hiring us. He hardly paid any attention to us; and whenever he did glance our way, it was when I was falling out of a pirouette or falling off balance. We went to his office after class and were astounded to hear that he liked us. He has to see two more guys but he liked us a lot. He said I have a beautiful line and he’s very, very interested in Mike. Starting pay is between $650 and $750/month. Cincinnati Ballet was only $500 so we were elated. We stopped at Sue’s Mom’s for lunch on our way out of town. It was great to see her but she wouldn’t let us stay too long. We had driving to do and she doesn’t like people driving at night. We arrived in Cincinnati at about 7:30 and Sue had a lasagna waiting. It is nice to have friends!
May 17th – We took McLain’s class with me on Pointe today. We expected to talk to him afterward but he had a meeting. We went to Linda’s to watch the ballet that night. Their house is gorgeous. I love the way it is decorated. The downstairs is like an old-fashioned garden party and the upstairs is all wall-papered with a big brass bed. It is really charming! The ballet was out-of-this-world. Each ballet topped the one before it. Les Sylphides with Ivan Nagy, Eleanor D’Antouno, Becky Wright and Marianna Tcherkasky. Eleanor was lovely—so soft and lyrical. I have never seen her dance better. Of course, Ivan was the epitome of poets. Fernando Bujones and Markarova danced a brilliant Don Q. She’s only been back dancing about a week since she had her baby, but she was so “on”. Fernando is just too perfect---they look so good together. Then Gelsey Kirklland and Baryshnikov dancing Theme and Variations took my breath away. The only ballet that was disappointing was Firebird with Cynthia Gregory and Leslie Browne. It wasn’t their fault—the choreography was just so simplistic. We talked to Mark and Linda about Pittsburgh, Cincinnati and our possibilities. They’re really down on McLain but naturally want us to live in Cincy.
May 18th to 20th – Thursday, we took Truitte and then Sabline’s classes today. Truitte was actually just right for us. We almost knew everything for a change. Sabline’s class was so much fun. The difference between the way he teaches and the way McLain teaches is night and day. We talked to Sabline for about an hour after class while waiting to talk to McLain. Sabline sure is an interesting man. McLain was discouraging. Now he won’t know until June 15th whether he can hire us or not—it really depressed us. I went and picked up a form for graduate school and had my transcript sent over. It is a just-in-case measure. It took me the rest of the night to fill it out and send in my recommendation forms. But now it’s done. The following day we took modern with Kathleen Stone. She killed our bodies while boring our minds to death. McLain taught an awful Pointe class that made me want to quit. It was all balancing and fast footwork, neither of which is my forte. Mike called North Carolina School of the Arts when we got home and they said come and audition. That perked us up. We went to the zoo and saw all sorts of interesting animals. Saturday we took class with James in the morning and we both had another “I-want-to-quit-ballet day.” We went to a dance shop and I tried on some Freed Pointe shoes but they didn’t have my size. I went shopping with Sue who was buying presents for Mike’s folk’s birthdays. The guys fixed dinner. It was great if you like lobster, but I couldn’t even eat it because the smell was so awful. The girls cleaned up and we all sat around the rest of the night exhausted and in a drunken stupor. Saturday Night Live was great!
May 21st – Sunday Mike and I went to church together at St. Ann’s. It was actually fine because the sermon was interesting. I got dressed to lie in the sun after we did a short barre in the basement; but by that time, the sun had decided to go behind the clouds for the rest of the day. Instead of sunbathing, Mike and I dusted and vacuumed the downstairs—we were happy to do it because Sue is always so swamped with work. Her Mike was off at King’s Island shooting pictures of the animals. I washed and curled my hair to look nice for our big audition in North Carolina. We sat around the remainder of the day resting up and enjoying life.
Written June 21st – A whole month later and we are still in the same predicament. Monday, May 22nd, we went to North Carolina. It was a very interesting and thoroughly enjoyable experience except for the nerves that always come with auditioning. The family we stayed with—Stan Ware, his wife Karen, and their daughter Ramona, were the perfect hosts. The whole atmosphere reminded us a lot of Ballet Folk—maybe too much. They are, after all, going to Alaska in a Greyhound bus. It does sound like a lot of fun and we were tempted. The first audition day went like most, so we were pleased we had another chance. Robert Lingren gave us the usual “definite maybe” which I always say is much better than a “no”. They will let us know by the end of June. We were back in Cincinnati by midnight on the 24th.
We took classes Thursday and Friday at U.C. and were a little more encouraged than last week. We saw the dance majors perform on Thursday at noon and that really lifted our spirits. I realized I’ve come a long way since I was one of them. We went to Carla’s for dinner and bridge on Thursday and agreed to come back on Memorial Day to watch the National Ballet’s Giselle. The next day we went to lunch with Linda and talked about ballet and performances. The conversation really made me want to get back on stage. We went to Toledo for the weekend while Sue and Mike went to Sue’s Grandma’s in Akron. The weekend was a welcome rest. We played lots of bridge and relaxed.
I called Pam while we were in Toledo, not expecting her to be there—but she was! Kelly was there too. They came over for dinner one night and we talked Ballet Folk talk. Everyone is going back next season except us. Kelly and Pam made it into Vegas Ballet but decided it wouldn’t be any better than Ballet Folk. George is taking over the school!
We were back in Cincinnati on Memorial Day and went to Carla’s as planned. We were surprised when in walked Rusty and Michael Kim! We were really glad to see them. Rusty ended up taking class with us all week—modern. She was on her way back to New Jersey from Amarillo where she did a show. It was good to see her again and I’m glad someone is still hanging in there in show business.
Sue’s Grandma died so they were gone a good part of the week—we hardly saw them. We went to Toledo again June 3rd through the 5th and took Carla and Bear along with us. We really didn’t have anything better to do and we wanted to give Sue and Mike a little time alone since they had such an ordeal with relatives, etc. and the funeral. We had a good time in Toledo mostly just talking and playing bridge. We were back in Cincinnati on Monday for class with Pat Roso. Official classes are over for the year but the Company is meeting with whoever is in town to keep in shape. Unfortunately during that class I injured a tendon in my right hip. It got continually worse until Thursday when I decided I had better skip class altogether. It was doubly depressing because I was trying to get in tip-top shape for the audition for Cleveland Ballet on Sunday, June 11th. By Friday it was a little better but still nothing to cheer about. We tried to talk to McLain all week but finally we had to leave him a message to call us at my Mom’s the following week. He was supposed to know if he could hire us by June 15th. We ate our last dinner with Sue and Mike on Friday, June 9th, and left the following day for Toledo. Upon our arrival, I went with Mom to the pool—I thought maybe the water could help heal my tendon. I also bought an infra-red light and had it on my hip flexor all evening. I must say I didn’t have much hope for it getting better even so. Mike, Dad and Joe worked on getting the house ready to paint. The folks are paying us $3.00/hour and that is going to come in mighty handy. We are about out-of-cash even with the $100 Mom gave us.
Sunday, June 11th, we auditioned for Cleveland Ballet. It was an excellent audition. We did everything! The girls—about 20 of us—danced from 12:00 to 3:00 and the guys from 3:00 to 5:00. Mike and I were both among the callbacks who then danced from 5:00 to 8:00. It was excrutiating but wonderful as far as experience goes. We did a lot of Pointe work and lots of pirouettes. I have been practicing them lately and I did well. I would say I was about the 2nd or 3rd best of the women but Mike was 1st of the men. Dennis Nahat is definitely a charismatic personality. They have another audition in New York City on July 18th so we won’t know anything until after that. Again, at least it wasn’t a “no”. We also met some nice people—July and Lucas from Dayton were two of the nicest. It surprised me but by 5:00, my hip flexor was feeling pretty good. Monday, 12th, we rested and worked on the house. On Tuesday through Thursday, we danced and worked on the house. We gave ourselves class at Cassandra’s and we worked like mad.
We had a 2-hour audition on June 16th in Chicago for San Antonio Ballet. We drove there and back the same day. I have never done so well at any audition. I don’t know why but my brain and body clicked. They were very interested and will let us know in two weeks. The pay is great--$170/week for 52 weeks. They are paying their dancers through grant money from CETA—I don’t know what that stands for. We saw Birute when we were there. She is definitely not working for Ballet Folk this year. JoAnn says George wants to go on the National tour and Birute doesn’t want to be stuck in Moscow teaching kids. I don’t blame her one bit.
June 17th through 19th we scraped and patched the house, and rested from dancing for a few days. On Sunday, June 18th, Mom, Dad and I went to a party for Anne Marie Nachtrab’s graduation. I saw Julie, who is a year younger than I am, with her two kids and it made me feel ancient. It also made me realize how long we’ve been away. I also saw Tom Ainsworth, Nancy’s brother. I have always liked him a lot and he has turned into quite a cool dude. On Tuesday, we started going to class again. I bought some Freed Pointe shoes in Chicago and they just might work. Mom and I also went to the pool—it was a perfect day. We took class again on the 21st. I am proud of us for staying in such good shape for so long. I wish we would hear something soon. Pittsburgh is definitely out. Mike called him and said the Director sounded sorry but there was nothing they could do. They just didn’t need a woman. That creep, McLain, never even called. We’re lucky to be rid of him. North Carolina, San Antonio, Cleveland—which will it be? I just hope someone, anyone says they want us.
Written on August 3rd – It has been ages since I’ve written anything and a lot has happened. We really started working on the house in earnest after our last audition. We continued taking class at least four days a week at Cassandra’s. After working all week and eleven hours on Friday, June 23rd, Mike and I had a night out and went to JoJo’s for lasagna. Mom and Dad had their couple’s bridge club that night. While we were waiting for our dinner, the cashier came and told us we had a phone call. We couldn’t imagine who it could be. It was Dad. San Antonio Ballet had called and we were supposed to return the call by 11:00 p.m. We were in a state of euphoria—at least I was. Mike was a little hesitant, maybe because he was hoping for Cleveland. When we got back to the house, he explained his fears more fully. “What if they just want me?” Well he was right—in a way. They weren’t sure about me yet—something about three girls on probation and the fact that CETA doesn’t like two people from the same family on the same grant. Well, I was depressed.
We painted and danced the rest of the week. We made several other calls—to Atlanta, Dallas, Baltimore, Houston, etc. We had Mike’s Dad find out about classes in Syracuse. We were almost finished with the house and we had to go back to Utica soon. We went to Rudy and Nancy’s on June 27th for dinner and to catch up. It was a very hot day and both Mike and I were feeling down about still not hearing from anyone else. Their baby, Courtland, is a doll and he thought the world of Mike. Mike kept running around the yard with him on his shoulder and he loved it. When we got home, there was a message for me to call Nancy Smith in San Antonio. Great news! They want us both!! I forgot to mention that after the first call, Mike told them he would love to work for them but that it had to be both of us. So I guess his strategy worked. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Thank God we have a job! We knew almost nothing about the Company but it didn’t seem to matter. It wasn’t as if we had a million other choices—or even one. Funny thing though—Duluth Ballet called the very next day. They had heard from George that we were looking for a job. We just told them, “Well, not any more.” We finished up the house on June 30th—well all but the windows. We left them for Dad.
I took Mom, Aunt Pat, Aunt Mary and Grandma to the airport in Detroit the next day. They were off to Mexico. Poor Grandma broke her rib about four days before; but she decided if she’s going to be in pain anyway, she may as well be in pain in Mexico. On the way home from Detroit, I ran out of gas. First I got lost and that had something to do with it. I was getting off the exit to buy some when it happened. Luckily I was close enough to walk to the gas station. I also got some help from a painter who picked me up as I was walking back to the car with the 5-gallon gas can. He dropped me off at the car. I didn’t figure I would have any trouble after that, but the dumb car wouldn’t start. Just as I was despairing and calling Mike, the painter came back and started it for me. I will be eternally grateful.
That evening we celebrated by going to the movies to see “Heaven Can Wait” with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie. It was very touching. We had already decided to leave the next day for Utica. Ann was sorry to see us go. It was just her and Dad for four days. Joe was at a national Frisbee tournament. He could have won $25,000 but the team didn’t do as well as they had hoped. Terry was off to Florida every weekend to visit Dick Rhodes, her new beau. He is rich and the nephew of the Governor of Ohio. He is madly in love with her and has already asked her to marry him. She is talking about moving down there with him to give it a trial run. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the only smart thing to do. Carl and Mary are already having marital problems—I sure hope they can work it out. After all, they have one child already and another on the way. It is just too difficult these days to support kids and a wife when you’re not together. Carla is having the same problems with Jerry. She is desperate to get divorced but just doesn’t see how she can manage it with the cost of housing, schooling, babysitting, etc. I just feel so sorry for Bear because he loves his Mom and Dad both so much. Carla is already looking for a job in accounting. She will finish up in two years taking one course per quarter in night school.
Well—on to Utica. It wasn’t such a bad drive and it was great to see Mom and Dad Hurd and Todd again. We immediately set to work scraping, puttying and painting again—this time, outside windows. We had a fun few days and then ate dinner at the Yaunundassis on July 4th (I had my usual steak and lobster tail). We went to the fireworks after dinner but were disappointed as they weren’t as spectacular as Toledo’s. The rest of the week we drove to Syracuse every morning to take class with the Syracuse Ballet and then painted all afternoon. We played a lot of bridge in the evenings. The classes were great—Sirpa Salatino teaches the Vaganova method and her classes are so organized and strength building. When we arrived, Sirpa and Tony thought we were auditioning which we might have been if we hadn’t taken the job in San Antonio. Syracuse Ballet was a small company with a short season and they didn’t pay well so it wouldn’t have been ideal. We didn’t have to pay for class which was great as we had to save our money to move. Sirpa and Tony said it was too bad we already had jobs because they could have really used us. This caused us some trouble later when we applied for unemployment. The only problem with the classes was that they were from 9:00 to 11:00 in the morning. This meant we had to get up at 6:45 to leave for Syracuse by 7:30. We got home everyday about 12:30 and immediately set to work painting. After we finished the windows, we painted the porch. We stayed on this schedule from July 6th to July 14th. On July 12th we went to Vernon Downs with Mom, Dad and the Senior Citizens. We had a great time and even came away $30 richer! I must say we had incredible luck. We won 6 out of 7 races usually betting the 2nd place horse.
On June 15th, we left Utica for a little vacation—just the two of us. The first day, we drove up to Westport, New York, and visited Camp Dudly, where Michael had spent many a summer. We also toured Fort Ticonderoga and ended up in Saratoga Springs. We were really in need of a vacation after all the classes and painting we had been doing over the past six weeks. We had earned $800 although a good portion of it had already gone for rent, car payment and gas bills. We were both getting $54/per week unemployment and we really worked for it. We were in unemployment offices in Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, Toledo, Utica, Syracuse and Moscow and each one did things a little differently. The man in Utica didn’t fill out the statement correctly explaining why we had turned down the job in Syracuse; so we hadn’t received a check since July 1st. I am sure they will get it straightened out eventually.
We saw New York City Ballet that first night in Saratoga Springs and it was so wonderful. The whole atmosphere of the place made it all the better—the weather was perfect. Merrill Ashley and Heather Watts were my two favorite dancers. We saw Bournonville Divertisments, Ivesiana and Jerome Robbin’s An Evening’s Waltzes. We stayed in a darling little cabin just down the road from the outdoor theatre. The following day we drove on a little back road over the mountains to Boston and John and Elaine’s house. I only almost got us killed twice. We arrived about 3:00 and talked until dinner. They took us out to Osaka, a Japanese restaurant where the chefs cook your food right on the table in front of you. The steak and shrimp were delicious. Then they took us to the top of the Prudential building for drinks. We had a nice time even though Elaine did 75% of the talking. She has certainly has had an interesting life.
The following day we planned to walk the Freedom Trail but it was pouring rain. I have been reading John Jakes’ “Bicentennial” series of books so I was in a very historical mood. Instead we visited the Christian Science Center which didn’t really thrill me. We also found a dance shop and I got some Freed Pointe shoes which I needed desperately. We visited Fanuil Hall and we ate in Haymarket Square. We were back at John and Elaine’s by 4:00. We left immediately for Middletown, Connecticut, to see Wesleyan University where Mike went to college. It was a beautiful campus and I even got to meet one of Mike’s old professors.
Next we drove over to Moodus, Connecticut, to surprise Rusty and Dennis with a visit; but, unfortunately, they weren’t home. It was a beautiful drive there and back to Middletown where we spent the night. The following day we went sightseeing—we walked through Gillette Castle in East Hadaam, Connecticut, and then took the ferry across the Connecticut River to Mystic Seaport. In the afternoon, we looked at old ships and then drove to Fairfield, Connecticut, to drop in on Mike’s cousin, D’Anne and husband, Dan. We had some difficulty finding their place since Mike had D’Anne’s office phone and had her street name spelled Stratford instead of Stratfield. With my ingenuity and a phone book, we managed to locate them. They were happy to see us and we had a great time although we only stayed a few hours. By the time we left, I felt like they were our best friends. We even talked about them visiting us in Texas. They have tons of money—Dan is a stockbroker and D’Anne a legal Secretary. They are trying to sell their condominium to help pay for their new $100,000 house. We left D’Anne’s for New York City to spend the night with Kevin. He has been doing great and has quite a massage service going. He is also going to college to get his physical therapy license. We were too tired to stay up late talking which was a good thing as Kevin had to be at school early in the morning. We left at about 10:00 for the Catskills and Utica.
It was a very hot day—we drove to Ferndale looking for Mr. Sabline. We knew he was at a ballet camp in the Catskills but that was all. After one failure, we found out via Sue via David McLain’s Secretary that he was only about three miles from where we were. He was very surprised to see us but couldn’t talk long because he had a soccer game. I drove the rest of the way to Utica getting stopped once by a cop. Mike insisted that the only reason I didn’t get a ticket was my shorty shorts.
It was good to be back in Utica although we didn’t stay long. We had lunch with Grammie the next day and were off to Buffalo. We stayed with Doug, who fixed us a delicious dinner, and then drove out to look at Niagara Falls by night with Doug and his girlfriend, Cynthia. They both had to work early the next day so we didn’t stay up late. In the morning we stopped at the Falls again, walked miles and rode the Maid of the Mist. We drove to Toledo through Canada and arrived at about 7:00 that night.
Friday, July 21st, we lounged around the pool all day and Jerry and Bear came that evening. Carla couldn’t make it because of exams. She had already missed four days because of a tooth infection and felt she needed the time alone to study. We just hung around and relaxed in Toledo over the next few days. We swam, played bridge and Mike put a $100 dent in the car backing out of a parking place and turning the front wheel into a pole. Oh well, it’s only money.
Tuesday, July 25th was a great day—Bear, Mom, Carl, Mary and Mike and I went to Cedar Point. Everyone had a super time. Carl, Mike and I went on the Gemini—the world’s fastest roller coaster. I was terrified. I carried Bear through the Fun House because he was scared, but later he said it was his favorite ride. I also won Bear a rubber shark when a man guessed my age as 20. I felt we all bonded as a family and were closer after that day. We went to the pool the next afternoon and left for Cincinnati at about 4:00. Bear was really sad when we told him we wouldn’t see him until Christmas. We spent that night at Sue’s. She told us McLain had asked for our phone number when Kay and Patrick quit, but that it was too late. Sue told him we already had a job with San Antonio. It must be for the best. The following day we ran errands and went out to lunch. We ate dinner with Sue and Mike and then left for Carla and Jerry’s. We spent the night there, talked a lot and even got in a rubber of bridge. It was sad leaving for San Antonio in the morning. The drive was long and hot but not too eventful. We stopped and slept for three hours in a Rest Area once we reached Texas. We arrived in San Antonio on July 29th at about 11:00 a.m.
We drove around for awhile until we got directions to what we thought was the studio. It turned out to be Nancy Smith’s house. Her mother said she was out at the Mall and would be back about 1:00 so we said we would call her then. We drove over to the studio and ran into Marek, the Artistic Director. He welcomed us to town but said he couldn’t help. “Talk to Nancy”, was all he kept saying. So we went to the Mall, ate lunch and drove back to Nancy’s but she still wasn’t home. She showed up a little while later and gave Mike the phone number of a woman who could help us find a nice apartment. I managed to ask Nancy a few questions before we left, and I didn’t like the answers. Everyone in the Company is on CETA and they don’t realize they can’t do that next year. Oh well, we’ll worry about that later. We said “goodbye” and went looking for an apartment. We found a beautiful place at the Antonian Apartments #K7. The apartment itself was over 1,000 square feet with 3 swimming pools plus air conditioning—quite a difference from our small hovel in Moscow.
We drove to the airport to buy tickets back to Spokane and found out it’s almost impossible to get there. We got tickets to Denver and decided to worry about the rest of the way once there. We stayed in a cheap motel that night and left San Antonio on July 30th less than 24 hours after we arrived. We dropped our car off at the Antonian where they promised to look after it and we took a cab to the airport. We arrived in Denver at 10:00 and immediately went to the United ticket counter. Miracle of miracles, they had two seats on a direct flight to Spokane. The man behind the counter was dumbfounded. He said he hadn’t seen a seat on that plane since April, before Northwest went on strike. If we had been a second earlier or later, the seats might have been gone. Someone must have just cancelled.
We called Steve and Patricia to pick us up and caught up on the dirt on the drive home. George is now Artistic Director! He’s not taking over the school after all. Jamie, one of the new men, was already fired. The new girl broke her toe. Theresa and Betsy have all the parts this year—Barb isn’t doing much of anything. Jan quit and most everyone else wants to too. It’s too bad Ballet Folk has so many personnel problems because the money is there. We went to the Biscuitroot with Steve and Pat for a few beers after we politely told Johnny he had to move out. He had been staying at our place since he and Leslie started having problems. We went over to George’s and had a great time—he sure is a nice person when you’re not working for him. Even Mike admitted that.
The rest of the week we took class, watched rehearsal and got our affairs in order. We also ordered some pictures and had some slides reprinted. We are looking good as far as our dancing goes. We didn’t lose much being off. Rod—who is doing Mike’s part in Rainmaker is really good. They got lucky to find him—I hope he stays. Pam has her doubts about Theresa staying. From what I hear, she is a spoiled little rich girl. We went to Pam and Kelly’s for dinner on Tuesday. We are sure going to miss them. In the evening we went to the dress rehearsal for the opening performance in Coeur d’Alene. The rehearsal went well; but the whole next day, everyone complained that no one had said a kind word. Some things never change.
Friday, August 4th, Mike and I started packing. We planned to do a little everyday so it wouldn’t be such a burden. We cleaned all the silver and packed it in a box plus we emptied many kitchen drawers. Saturday was the “big show”. We went to the reservoir until about 3:00 and saw Patty Moehnert there with her two kids. We talked a lot about the early days of Ballet Folk. We had a nice motorcycle ride to Coeur d’Alene. The performance was interesting—I am sure we didn’t see it as any other audience member would. We are real critics, but we were pleased with the total. The ride back was excrutiatingly cold—we had to stop three times for coffee and whiskey because we were both shaking so badly. I took a hot bath when we got home just to warm up.
Sunday was a lazy day. Steve and Patricia came over for wine in the evening and George also stopped by. I’m glad we are friends again. George complained of a sore back and Mike thought he may have pulled something during warm-up—it ended up being shingles. Mike joked, “When he was Ballet Master, he had migraines, now that he’s Artistic Director, he has shingles. If he ever becomes Director, he will probably pass away!” The day was August 6th, the day Pope Paul VI died.
On Monday Barb taught because George was still feeling puny. A new girl to replace Jan (who left without a word) named, Rose, came today. We recognized her from Syracuse. She told us that Sirpa told her we had said terrible things about Ballet Folk. Are all Directors sneaky and conniving? Tuesday Barb taught again. Jaye called me out of class to ask if Mike and I would take over the Rainmaker rehearsals. We couldn’t have been happier. We went to the unemployment office yesterday and it doesn’t look like we will be getting anything more from them. So we started working again that afternoon. It went well—we surprised ourselves. I think Jaye was sufficiently impressed too. They might as well take advantage of our knowledge while we are still there. Barb, Ben and Rose came over after dinner. We had a nice reminiscent chat about past tours. Rose is going to fit in just fine!
Wednesday, August 9th, we decided to have a yard sale with Mark from downstairs. He is going to take care of the ad. All we have to do is price and sell our stuff. We went to Steve and Patricia’s for a party—Rod, Barb, Ben, Betsy and Rose came too. Rod should have been a comedian. He had us roaring with stories about auditions and classes in New York. We are still working on Rainmaker.
Thursday, rehearsal was over early so we spent the afternoon getting ready for the sale. I forgot to mention I taught Company class yesterday—I got a lot of good comments. Rod taught today and Leslie is teaching tomorrow. I thought Rod did a great job—he will be a good teacher someday. He really gets a lot of joy from dancing and that definitely helps his teaching. We went to George’s later in the day and it was just like old times. He is feeling better and planning on teaching again on Monday.
We invited the Company over for first pickins from the yard sale. Rod came with Sharon, Jamie’s girlfriend. They wanted the rug so that was $35 right there. Leslie bought about $5 worth, John $1, Rose $15, Ben $4—not bad for one evening. Saturday, the actual day of the yard sale, was a miserable day. It was freezing and pouring rain. Luckily one of Mark’s friends had a tarp that we used as a tent over the whole front lawn. I was amazed at the turnout in the morning. We started at 9:00 with four carloads of customers. They came pretty steadily until noon. We also had some barefoot, robed “Christians” come by to ask for coffee and tell us that “no materialism, no sex and no killing were the keys to heaven.” It was an enjoyable, if freezing, day. Almost the whole Company came by at one time or another. We made about $40 bringing the total to $100. Jaye may still buy our air conditioner for $90. Not bad for a bunch of worthless junk! We went to dinner at Leslie’s after watching Nureyev and Miss Piggy at Jon’s. We had a nice, relaxed time eating steak, potatoes and salad. We also all got pleasingly drunk.
On Sunday I went to Church; and when I returned, I found out Jaye had called. She wants us to come with George to the Biscuitroot for coffee at 1:00. We wondered what the big secret could be. We were amazed and overjoyed! Mike and I will be doing a farewell gala performance with the Company on August 25th. We will perform Property, Water Colors pas de deux, and Rainmaker. The Julliard people are coming to adjudicate the Company for the State Department’s possible European tour. The Company will look good and we get paid. Sounded like a great arrangement to us. We didn’t find out how much we would be paid until the next day—we get the whole house take minus expenses! It could be up to $1,000 and not less than $600. We were ecstatic. It will pay for our move and more! The rest of the afternoon we played tennis with Steve and Patricia. They cooked hamburgers on the grill and we had a quiet evening watching Masterpiece Theatre.
I talked to Mom the next day. She has been having asthma pretty bad lately and it is worrying her. She finally went to the doctor and got an inhaler. I hope it helps. Mary is due in October. Terry has moved to Florida to be with her boyfriend and the family hasn’t heard a word from her.
On Monday, George was back and he started working on Tarantella. We are still rehearsing Rainmaker and it is coming along. We will be leaving Idaho on the August 26th, right after the performance. We had our last Rainmaker rehearsal on August 16th. We started running Property and Rainmaker everyday. The rehearsals went well. I gave Pam some of the Pointe shoes I had left that the Company had bought. JoAnn is going to pay me for them. That’s good because it means there is still money coming in. We paid off our car with our savings as we wanted to have as few bills as possible. We got a little tipsy at Pam and Kelly’s on Harvey Wall Bangers but it was well worth it.
On August 18th Mike got another unemployment check. We weren’t expecting it so it was a pleasant surprise. Laurie (the child who is going to run the school) taught today. We all nearly fell asleep. Mike and I were finished with rehearsal by 2:00. I read Volume VI of the Bicentennial series—I love them! On August 19th we went to dinner with Steve and Patricia and then played bridge at their house. They are not bad players. It’s too bad we never got around to playing before. The next day, Sunday, Mike and I went to the studio to work out. Now that’s dedication. I also finally finished my needlepoint. We went to George’s possibly for the last time.
On Monday, Gordon, the new tech guy, came over to check out our apartment. It looks like he will be living there once we leave—right now he’s sleeping in his truck. Wednesday we had a complete run-through and it really tuckered us out. Thursday, the lady from Julliard watched class and dress rehearsal. I thought it went really well; but Jaye, as usual, was frantic and called an extra rehearsal for Friday. There were two people auditioning from the National Ballet of Illinois in Champagne which just folded. They weren’t very good—I certainly wouldn’t hire them. After rehearsal, Mike went and rented the truck we will drive to Texas. Ben and Gordon came over and loaded all the big stuff. The place looked so bare—it was painful. That evening we went to the Biscuitroot for the last time. We stopped downstairs for a little while to say “goodbye” to Mark and Len.
I started feeling sick right after dinner. I was sure it was just something I had eaten and that I would feel better in the morning. When I woke up, however, I felt worse than ever. I dragged myself to class because I thought it might make me feel better, but I couldn’t even make it through the class. I tried taking a nap but I had diarrhea all afternoon. I started throwing up at about 3:00. I couldn’t eat or drink anything without throwing it up or having to use the potty again. I was really depressed. The biggest performance of my life was just a few hours away and I didn’t know if I could perform. I felt terrible through putting my make-up on and through warm-up. I felt really dumb too because I figured my illness had to be partly psychosomatic or caused by nerves.
The performance was SOLD OUT. They had to turn hundreds away and there were people sitting in the aisles. Thank God it went terrifically! We were fabulous or so everyone said. The final applause was deafening, I was given a beautiful bouquet that looked like a wedding bouquet. I cried buckets especially when everyone came into the dressing room. When Ruthie, Annie and Donna came in, I really lost it. Carl even cried. George had a party afterward and I was sorry I felt so shitty. I wanted to celebrate but the thought of champagne made me sick. I drank ginger ale and water. I talked to Jon a lot and wondered what will happen to him.
The lady from Julliard really loved the Company so I think Europe is a lock. It was terrible when it came time to say “goodbye” to everyone. Jaye was the hardest. She is a strange lady; but in her way, she liked me. It felt wonderful to be in bed at last. We got up Saturday, August 26, our last day in Idaho. Steve, Patricia and Jon came over to help and they did a lot of that. We never would have made it without them. We didn’t realize how many trips up-and-down the steps we had left. We were out-of-town by noon. We left one thing—the bottle of champagne Steve and Patricia bought us as a going away present. We felt bad but there was no turning back. On to the next phase of our lives.
